Aghhh! I've done it again: half-made a cup of tea and, then, by the time I think, "I haven't had a cup of tea for ages," I return to the bag stewing in a warm mug of water with a slimy film on top. Because I've been hoovering. StupidBloodyHoovering. It could be put off no more. But it IS done now. And I've hung the washing out. Don't rain, not yet, don't rain, please.
These denials of mine will no longer stand. I AM DISTRACTED. Perpetually. I've sorted out my bills today (my juggling skills are improving), I've social networked, I've enquired about some possible paid work (am I mad? No, I'm just becoming realistic), I've got Celeste off to pre-school and, yes, I've done the low-down dirty floor chore and the less detestable clean clothes thing (I've even thrown some bleach around the bath that I dirtied by dropping a plant into last Wednesday). Actually, that's pretty busy, don't you think?
Oh, yeah, distracted. I burnt the bolognese yesterday (spag bol again, you sure?), our washing stays in the machine so long that it sometimes needs washing again, which isn't very ecological or economical, is it? I keep forgetting to write this or to post that (mental note now being made - post Dad's Batman film, which I've had for ten days and haven't even watched, back off to Lovefilm.com. Post-box at end of road. I don't watch films anymore but I used to devour them! These days, I really can't concentrate for that long), I've only finished reading one book in the past, I dunno, ten months and that was only because it was brilliant ("The Other Hand" by Chris Cleave). But, then again, I have written a book, so ....
Why the distracted mind? Twitter may have something to do with it, though I do love my tweeties, I wonder how they are ...? Can I blame the kid for my lack of ability to focus too long on the one thing? Is it important that I change and grow as she does? She needs a flexible and multi-tasking mother, not one who can organise, research and write a PhD thesis, although that particular skill would be more beneficial if I was reaping some financial reward for it, suppose.
I need to get back to yoga, I'm also so unchilled right now. Plus I need to get back to Sarah Napthali's book "Buddhism for Mothers," the one I bought another lifetime ago, when I was pregnant, the one I've never finished, though I do pick it up off my bedside table now and then: she writes well, so .... ?
Damn, my tea's gone cold.
Fuck, it's raining!!!