We've just had a painting session, whereby we mixed bright blue, yellow and PINK paint with PVA glue. Then we decorated an old Persil box, an egg tray and a long-empty chocolate box tray with this gloopy mixture, adding the odd flower and ribbon. Pretty, huh?
"Mummy, Give me some red beans?" Her.
"Please could I have some red beans, Mummy!" Me.
I pass her a small bowl of raw red lentils and some green ones for good measure. Oh, a few unsoaked, unboiled butter beans. These she places into a couple of the chocolate-shaped holes, all of which have already been painted gluey-blue.
"Now. I put them on my table and wait them to grow to biscuits."
"They grow to biscuits."
She sits patiently watching and waiting for her blue-painted lentil biscuits to start sprouting. And waiting. And watching. Ah, at least it's keeping her quiet.
"Sit on the rocking chair, Mummy. And watch."
I try to get out of this but she persists, her voice rising to a screech.
"Watch wif me, Mummy."
I sit down opposite her and we both stare at the mess, willing the Miracle.
"Come on." She shouts at the lentil mixture.
Yes! Come on: it's like watching bloody paint dry!