We've already walked through Grove Park and said 'hello' to the fish in the pond (and someone had a PINK lolly from the cafe). We've just been to Waterstones to say 'hello' to the extremely colourful fish in the tank (and someone had Smelly Peter, the Great Pea Eater read to her). We're now on our way to Tesco, where we always say 'hello' to the dead fish at the dead meat and fish counter and, passing the Odeon, I realise that today is Sunday! That means that Odeon Kids are showing U- and PG-rated films for £1 (that's £1 per child and free for adults!!).
The listings state that 3 Odeon Kids films are on this morning and that they all started between 90 and 50 minutes ago. The last one to begin was Bedtime Stories and it's still only half way through. Perfect! Yeah, let's go and see Bedtime Stories!
What? Why would you want to see a film that you'd already missed half of?
Well, because there's no way that my very, very-nearly three year old daughter could ever do a whole film! I mean, she can manage 20 minutes of Justin and Mr Tumble on CBeebies but that's about her record. At least this way, if I can stretch it out, I get to 'take the weight off' for half hour and maybe even see the end of the movie, whereas, if we go at the beginning, I'm always left wondering how it finished up. I'll fill in the bits that I've missed. It's an Adam Sandler film: how hard can it be? And it only costs a quid! That's a steal for a midday rest, don't you think?
"Ooh, it's dark. It's dark. It's very dark."
Straight to the front. I calculate that there are around 10 people scattered about the cinema. We take a chair each. 1 minute; Fidget Girl is still watching. 2 minutes; still watching. 3 minutes ... and she's off, test driving every single pull-down seat in the front row, where, incidentally, no-one else is parked. I let her get on with it, she's not bothering anyone. She gets her leg stuck, I go to pull her out. She stares at a little boy behind her, he pokes his tongue out at her. She makes her way back to where I'm sitting, she climbs onto my lap for a cuddle and we watch the action together, all snug.
She wants to go the loo. It's a false alarm.
"Where's the big film gone?" she asks.
We return to catch the end of the movie, in which a small mob are trying to prevent their fabulous school from having an evil hotel built on it. "Save our School" the mob shouts. "Say a Scold" Random Girl shouts, over and again, fist in the air, emulating the mob on screen.
They save the school, Adam Sandler gets the girl and the baddies get their just desserts.
And do you know what? It's really rather good!