Thursday, 1 October 2009

Save One Mammy

As we run through the Woods chasing fairies, escaping witches, there is a part of me that is happy to have this little delight of a daughter all to myself, not to have to share her with anyone. It’s selfish, I know. But it’s also self-preservation.

Her father doesn’t take an active a role in My Girl’s life as I would like. In fact, he plays no role at all and I lay little blame at his door: it was my decision to have a child, he has had very little input and I knew that I would be ‘going it alone’ from the outset. But we do have a daughter who is strong, healthy, beautiful, lively and as independent as I’ll allow.  She’s in my life now and thank God! It’s her and me.

And just look what he’s missing out on!!

I’ve contacted him, of course I have – she started asking about him before she was 3 years old: most of her friends have a Daddy, even Peppa Pig. Just simple questions like, “How old is the doggy? How old is my Daddy?” but ones I thought I might be ready for. In a few years time!!  Naive ...

I continue in vain to contact him – for her sake and for mine. I’d like her to know more about herself, to not feel a sense of rejection or a mistrust of men (something I will do my utmost not to foster) and I want to protect my relationship with her, to let her know that I did, at least, try.

So I persevere. He no longer responds.

But what about those fathers who, when love no longer lingers between Mum and Dad, just refuse to let go, attempting to keep the mothers of their children captive in a foreign land, using their offspring as pawns to hurt and silence the ex-partner? How damaging could that be to a young child? And how confusing? Unfortunately, this type of scenario is the reality for some children and their mothers, unable to live the lives they choose, kept away their loved ones by the courts. This is what has been a living nightmare for Save One Mammy. What is she to do: leave the land of her ex-husband, Ireland, to return home, over the water in England, also leaving Small Child with him, thus losing custody? Or stay prisoner there but remain with her Baby?

It a choice that I, thankfully, will never have to make.

Please follow the Save One Mammy Campaign by clicking here

Thanks xxx

1 comment:

  1. Poignant. One day I may choose to say more. For now - thank you for writing about this, and for being my friend. Love X