Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Toilet Humour?

The use of public loos increases forty fold once you have kids, especially when you are lucky enough to frequent Weston's Grove Park.  My Girl is now a very grown up 3 year old who insists on doing the wee-wee operation completely unaided and this gives me the perfect opportunity to take in the ambience of these toilets.  Yes, I know it's unusual to survey a public convenience but really, this place is a treasure trove of either kitsch or plain bad taste.

Happy, summery music can always be heard, often soundtracks from the 1960s, and it's very clean in here though you can smell the Gents next door and, sorry, I just have to do this:

On entering the party at Rik, Vivian, Neil and Mike's house:
Girl 1:  Ooer, smells like a gents in here.
Girl 2:  A gent's what?

                                   (The Young Ones, "Interesting", 1983)

Tacky ornaments and fake plastic flowers adorn the sinks and window ledges, in contrast to the beauty of the naturally lovely park just out the door, and there are always at least two women working here, often spotted in red aprons having a cup of tea and a fag with the bloke in the small road sweeping vehicle.  But it's the selection of photos on its walls that absorbs me.  As you wash and dry your hands or re-apply your lipstick and titivate your hair, you have the delicious company of the following peeps:

Jill Dando (local dead heroine)
Princess Diana (dead national heroine)
Will Young (gay pop idol)
Daniel O'Donnell (dubious Irish crooner)
Sharon Osbourne (feisty celeb wife and manager)
Duffy (Welsh songstress)
Captain Jack Sparrow (fictional Keith Richards with a twist of camp-foolery)
Robbie Williams (international superstar)
A selection of Playgirl male models (really rather unattractive ones with long hair)

They've won awards, you know?  Something like Public Toilet of the Year, 1999.

At the risk of being labelled a complete weirdo and/or dangerous, I sneaked my camera in, just to show you:


  1. How very bizarre. Is that Fabio I see in under the no smoking sign? At least you are in the right place should you want to hurl!

  2. That is too funny. I can just see you with your camera in there. Did the ladies see you do it? I hate that guy with the long hair. Yuck!

  3. He is retch-material isn't he? Don't know who Fabio is but off to google him right now.

    They didn't see me, I don't think....

  4. I have many many photos of the inside of the toilets at Grove Park- it's not as good as it used to be, before they had to take down the majority of the decorations due to some health and safety nonsense. Every time I get a visit from an out of towner I have to take them to the toilets there- in fact I have friends who request a special visit every time they come back. Weirdos.

  5. Camilla, thank you, you've made me smile.
    Brilliant xx

  6. How fabulous and funny! I want to visit those loos

  7. Ha ha - fantastic! I'm so glad you got a photo. The Jill Dando picture is just creepy!

  8. I took my Czech friend to see them when she came to visit, and she ended up taking lots of photos.... she was particularly impressed with all the "Loo of the year" award certificates on the walls!