The use of public loos increases forty fold once you have kids, especially when you are lucky enough to frequent Weston's Grove Park. My Girl is now a very grown up 3 year old who insists on doing the wee-wee operation completely unaided and this gives me the perfect opportunity to take in the ambience of these toilets. Yes, I know it's unusual to survey a public convenience but really, this place is a treasure trove of either kitsch or plain bad taste.
Happy, summery music can always be heard, often soundtracks from the 1960s, and it's very clean in here though you can smell the Gents next door and, sorry, I just have to do this:
On entering the party at Rik, Vivian, Neil and Mike's house:
Girl 1: Ooer, smells like a gents in here.
Girl 2: A gent's what?
(The Young Ones, "Interesting", 1983)
Tacky ornaments and fake plastic flowers adorn the sinks and window ledges, in contrast to the beauty of the naturally lovely park just out the door, and there are always at least two women working here, often spotted in red aprons having a cup of tea and a fag with the bloke in the small road sweeping vehicle. But it's the selection of photos on its walls that absorbs me. As you wash and dry your hands or re-apply your lipstick and titivate your hair, you have the delicious company of the following peeps:
Jill Dando (local dead heroine)
Princess Diana (dead national heroine)
Will Young (gay pop idol)
Daniel O'Donnell (dubious Irish crooner)
Sharon Osbourne (feisty celeb wife and manager)
Duffy (Welsh songstress)
Captain Jack Sparrow (fictional Keith Richards with a twist of camp-foolery)
Robbie Williams (international superstar)
A selection of Playgirl male models (really rather unattractive ones with long hair)
They've won awards, you know? Something like Public Toilet of the Year, 1999.
At the risk of being labelled a complete weirdo and/or dangerous, I sneaked my camera in, just to show you: